Huffy and Puffy

Little Red Riding Hood didn’t quite make it to Grandma’s house this Halloween. She had good intentions as all little cloak-donning fairy-tale heroines do. But this trip through the woods, she met up with the Big Bad Wolf, who, in previous encounters came off arrogant, conniving and frankly, too hairy for Little Red’s taste. But this time, she threw caution and her penchant for hairless men to the forest breeze and took a chance on him. They made a U-turn at the meadow and hit the Halloween party circuit together, arriving at The Perfect Pear party

and introduced themselves as the newest Famous Couple.

Their Couple Counterparts weren’t surprised, claiming they’d seen it coming for years, though Popeye kept squinting at them

and Sculder and Mully were vicious with their flashlights, pressing them to Little Red and BB Wolf’s pupils.

The iPod Couple didn’t even hear the announcement due to the constant presence of their earbuds.

Princess Buttercup seemed a little nervous around Little Red and her wooly man, whispering, “We'll never survive,” to Wesley who, in turn assured her,

“Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.”

(Please consult your Princess Bride Movie Quotes)

Whenever BBW tried talking to Athena, she offered her best goddess-like smiles, but clung to Hercules, yelping, “Save me, my big, strong man, save me!”

Sandy and Danny battled their intimidation by the unlikely couple by dancing around them and crooning,

“We go together like
rama lama lama
ka dinga da dinga dong.”

BB Wolf’s nasal problems apparently wore Cruella’s patience thin, because at one point during the evening, she snapped, “Quiet, you imbecile” and fled the room in a flurry of smoke, dragging Jasper behind her.

BBW apologized profusely, but the SCREAMing couple next to them drowned out his sincere regrets.

Superman kept darting around them, eyeing Little Red’s cloak, obviously envious of its volume and craftsmanship,

and the Cake Toppers just stood and grinned, not much for conversation.

Tired of listening to Guinivere and Arthur argue about Lancelot,

Little Red and BB Wolf made their way over to Wendy and Peter Pan’s table. The couple commented on the masculinity of Pete’s tights and after shooting them a childish glare, Pete turned to Scandalous Wendy and said, “Forget them, Wendy. Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again.”

Glancing at Pete’s tights anew in the mood lighting, Wendy replied, “Never is an awfully long time,” and waddled to the nearest chair. "And you shoulda thought about that before THIS happened," she said, pointing to her swollen belly.

(Please consult your Peter Pan Movie Quotes….)

And so it was that, no surprise to Little Red Riding Hood and her newfound True Love, they received the “Most Likely to NOT Live Happily Ever After” Perfect Pear award.

The End