Custom Homes for the Holidays

Per tradition, my family endeavors to construct Homes for the Holidays using only the finest in edible materials. Notice I did not say we endeavor to construct only the finest of homes. Au contraire, we usually end up making a mockery of innocent little ginerbread houses and produce less than desirable holiday abodes. Here is our 2007 Homes for the Holidays Listing:

Backwoods Christmas Cottage--a real bargain for anyone wishing to spend Christmas tucked away from civilization. Home surrounded by trees and friendly forest critters. Amenities include open ventilation system, red frosted glass windows and mostly-working, multi-colored Christmas lights. Minor repairs needed on front door, all windows, upstairs balcony and roof before move-in.

Church to home conversion--Spacious find for multiple family living or single family living with ample room. 23 bedrooms, commercial sized kitchen, full-sized gym. Comes furnished with 80 pews, 7 pianos, 1 organ and over 200 folding chairs. Plenty of parking space for those holiday parties.


Fixer Upper Foreclosure--This work-in-progress is perfect for anyone looking for a challenging remodeling/rebuilding project for the holidays (or the next 5 holiday seasons). Agent will pay the first interested party to move into this house. Car and jack included with home. (Sorry, car cannot be moved from front yard--no engine or tires.)

Jamaican Flavor--This stately Jamaican palace simply screams holiday celebrating! Lush grass and clear pools abound. Working draw bridge and moat keep uninvited visitors and family at bay. Plenty of shrubbery and palm trees to adorn with festive lights.

Christmas Confusion Leads to Ladies' Loo**

During the holidays, there are multiple instances in which confusion is entirely possible. For example, when one is crashing from a sugar high and the English language sounds garbled and odd. Or when one is outside so long in sub-zero tempreratures that the brain actually becomes numb.

But possibly, one of the msot confusing moments came this very holiday season, in a restaurant, when one Christopher Cox had an urgent need to use the restroom after one too many glasses of...only Dr. Pepper, but still.... (You thought it would be the hard stuff, didn't you?)

The Urgent Matter came and Chrisotpher heeded its call. It seems that confusion from the almost-crisis had so completely enveloped him that he had little care for the distinction between the Ladies' and Mens' rooms. He pushed open a door and was greeted by cheery purple. He quickly scanned the room, but no urinal was to be found. His foggy brain considered, for a moment, this oddity but was soon overpowered by the Urgent Matter. While inside, Christopher's brain also noted the little white bins placed so conveniently on the stall--wait a minute! A startling realization suddenly burst through the fog of confusion.

He was--GASP!--IN THE LADIES' LOO!!

Resolution of Urgent Matter was immediately aborted and a very chagrined, but certainly enlightened, Christopher returned sheepishly to his seat.

**True Story

Bennett Cox Brings Vanilla Ice in from the Cold

Being a product of the 80s has lasting effects. Apparently, "THE 80s" buries itself deep in a wrinkle of the affected one's genes, and carries silently over into the next generation. Last week at dinner, Bennett repeatedly requested his favorite entree--ice. Piece after piece went into his cup and, after hearing the word over 20 times and in varying pitches, Christopher and I decided it was time Bennett was introduced to Vanilla Ice. Don't pretend you don't know what we're talking about. There's no shame in knowing every word of "Ice Ice Baby." Really.

We taught Bennett how to say that oh-so- nostalgic phrase and it came back to haunt us tonight. We put him in his bed, gave him the customary drink and after he was done guzzling, he put his cup down and said, "Ice, ice baby"... with a grin. Hurry, someone grab my red, white and blue parachute pants!

Skipping Joyfully--not RUNNING--to Catch Up

Rookie Year for 10467 Sugarloaf Christmas Lights

Nothing says HAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY, CHRISTOPHER! like taking a dip** into Fiesta Flamboyance Fondue***

**Note: Made-up name because I have no clear recollection of the actual name of said fondue.

***Note also this would not be considered a skinny dip since I'm sure I took a few extra, uninvited and somewhat clingy pounds home with me.

"Tansa"

Bennett and his girl, London. We still need to work out the dowry details, but it's practically a done deal.

All hail to peanut butter on such an occasion as this!

"You're laughing at my hat, aren't you?"

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.
~Ellen DeGeneres

Orphaned Camera Hitches a Ride

Have you noticed there is a serious lack of pics on my blog? I have. But there is good news on the horizon! My orphaned camera returned home this weekend. He/she/it was abandoned in Price by a careless, negligent owner over the Thanksgiving holiday and had to hitch a ride with my in-laws. Sadly, said camera is suffering and in great pain due to some Inner Camera ailment that is undiagnosable by the likes of me. And the pictures on my sick little camera are being held hostage. So until I figure out how to heal he/she/it, my blog will be a Picture Void. (Don't tell the sick camera, but its replacement is on its way via UPS. Merry Christmas to us!)

Merry Reading

Bennett and I have been reading some fun Christmas books as of late. We thought we'd share some of our faves.

Merry Christmas, Big Hungry Bear by Audrey Wood

Santa's Stuck by Rhonda Greene

Are You Grumpy, Santa? by Greg Spiridellis

Room for a Little One by Martin Waddell

A Star So Bright by M. Cristina Butler

Snowmen at Night by Caralyn Buehner

Snowy Day for a Farewell

There is a risk in allowing ourselves to love other living things. The risk is in losing them. On this very snowy December day, we bid farewell to our "firstborn", Marty (The Cat).

I can only hope there are lush curly ribbon fields and newspaper hills. And yellow feather dusters in whatever form they appear in Cat Heaven. If there are, Marty is one happy cat.