Summer, Psychosis Slayer

Hypothetically speaking, let’s say I’m crazy. Hypothetically.

Now, hypothetically, let’s say I’m cheap.

So I’m (hypothetically) crazy, but I’m (theoretically) cheap, which leads to the conclusion that, though I might need mental assistance, I would never pay for a therapist. (And it’s fairly pointless to try therapy on one’s self…)

That’s what summer is for.

It’s like cheap therapy.

Family Therapy

***This particular form of family therapy is not recommended for anyone over 3 years of age…it can prove traumatic, leading to further psychological scarring.*** :)

Group Therapy

**Best implemented with spring rolls from Thai Village**

Psychoanalytical Dream Analysis

(which, for a 3 year old equates to Behavior Modification)

Hypnotherapy

A natural byproduct of late nights outside, park adventures, social overstimulation and weekend outings.

Fresh Air and Dirty Hands Therapy

Art Therapy

Pizza Picnic in the Park Therapy

Jane Austen Therapy

Music Therapy

Jack’s Mannequin/The Fray

(Before the concert)

(After the concert—never underestimate the power of music to calm the savage beast…or dispel Crazy Eyes)

Shameless plug: For an at-home version of this therapy, feast your ears upon The Glass Passenger from Jack’s Mannequin. GUARANTEED goodness. :)

Wilderness Therapy

VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: This outing contained no camping or camping paraphernalia. It was a lovely day-long adventure sponsored by my in-laws, full of beautiful meadows and towering trees, that ended in a refreshing shower and indoor slumber.

So, never fear, the Anti-Camper lives on happily, sans tent, campfire, unnecessary dirt, Hygiene Posers (outhouses) and insect visitations for ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL SUMMER!! LIVE ON!! LIVE ON IN CLEANLINESS AND COMFORT, DEAR ANTI-CAMPER!

(As you can see, it doesn’t always work for everyone…)

Ahhhh….freedom

We love our space.

We love our country.

We love our freedoms.

WE’RE AMERICANS!

And what better day than the 4th of July to exercise a few of those freedoms??

Like….

The Freedom to Assemble

The Freedom to Inhale Calories in the

form of All-American goodness,

Leaving Behind Summer Food Carnage

The Right to Keep and Bear Arms

and Go Shooting with the Guys

The Prohibition of Cruel

and Unusual Punishment

The Right to Light up the Night

The Freedom of Piling

into an American truck, Driving up the Mountain and Watching Good ol’ Fashioned Fireworks from Great Heights