Despite what you may think, Jason Bourne is not running from the enemy. He's not running from terrorists or blood-thirsty power mongers or maniacal foreign assassins.
Look closely at the panic on his face.
Such an expression is caused by something much more frightening than the previously mentioned threats.
It's actually impressive that he's so calm, cool and collected, given the circumstances.
It's actually impressive that he's so calm, cool and collected, given the circumstances. "WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES?" you ask in curious, breathless anticipation.
His TEN YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.
THAT is what he's running from.
THAT is why Jason Bourne entered the CIA and dropped off the map.
And THAT is why I'm entering the Witness Protection Program--and, just to cover the bases, applying to the Central Intelligence Agency for dangerous missions and obscure job locations.
The only problem is I didn't enter the Program early enough and my CIA application is pending.
"They" found me.
And then they contacted me.
And then....I actually attended my 10-year reunion.
!!!!!
I could have endured brainwashing, torturous behavior modification techniques, a six-month disappearing act, secret ops and dangerous weapons shoved in my face. I could have endured a life of secrecy and anonymity, a complete overhaul of me as I know me....
ANY of the above, but NOT the Reunion.
Now, take another look at Jason's face. Do you detect even the smallest trace of panic? Nope. Gone.
You know WHY?
He evaded the Reunion and as a result, moves forward with peace of mind, knowing he didn't waste a perfectly good Saturday night.
The threat is gone...at least for another 10 years.
Okay, okay. So my reunion wasn't THAT bad. Really. I'm taking a bit of dramatic license. I saw quite a few people that I was delighted to see. (And didn't recognize quite a few more--ten years is a long time in terms of hair color, style and amount...)
However, it does go in my
"Kind of a Waste of Time" Life Experiences pile.
High school was fun enough, I suppose. I was highly involved, had lots of good friends, successfully passed notes undetected and only tripped in the halls once--all of the things that make a memorable, worthwhile high school career.
But REALLY, let's be honest...life began in college. :)
*That's when people started talking to each other without first asking for social credentials, which table you sat at during lunch and if you were ever in band or dated anyone in said organization.
*That's when it suddenly became normal and highly acceptable to date a guy with a beat-up car. (You were just glad he had a car so as not to walk everywhere when you went out.)
* That's when maturity became relative.
**That's when if you decided to knit and wear your own vests, people recognized it as artistic expression and placed their orders. (Note: I don't actually know how to knit, so please don't place online orders. Also,I don't care for vests as a result of the 80s, but would endorse anyone wearing such a creation.)
Anyway, you get what I'm saying.
Anyone who ever participated in high school knows exactly what I'm talking about.
And that's why I can say "Check" to my 10- YEAR REUNION
and
"Pass" to my twentieth. :)
Besides, no one will be able to find me. I'll be non-existent in Bangladesh. (With Jason Bourne? Hubba hubba.)**
** ONLY KIDDING. That was for you, babe! :)
5 comments:
Em-
I'm so glad you did a blog about this! I was a little curious, but obviously not curious enough to face the firing squad. Maybe I'll go in 20 years...MAYBE. P.S. I am curious about who you ran into however. Anyone who might intrigue me?
I'll agree--a waste of a good evening. We ended up leaving mine early with a couple that were already our friends. We took advantage of the fact that we had babysitters. I'm proud of you for going though, since you were on the student council. You should have to go to these things to make up for all the times you got out of class.
Gee, I am glad I never went to my 5, 10, or 15 (this year) reunion. I must be doing a good job with the whole new identity thingy, because they stopped looking for me after my non-attendance at my 5 year reunion. I am one of those people that try to avoid people that I run into that are from high school. Mean I know, but what are you suppose to say to them? "Killer dude" and walk away?
I love to read your blog it is so funny.
Well I totally know what you were thinking about hiding. I tried to and I thoungt I was doing quite well until my fun brother put Pete, the senior class president, on his and Spencer's softball team. Needless to say he hounded me and got me to say I would go next Sat. So we will see how it goes. Hopefully it will be ok. Wish me luck!!
I love reading your postings, you always keep me on the edge of my seat :) Can I use your "Jason" picture as my backdrop--wow! I could wake up to him every morning...
I'm glad you gave your 10 year a chance, I'm sure you would have been missed!
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