Diagnosis: Just Plain Crazy

It's time once again for
GUESS THE POST'S THEME!

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

ANY GUESSES?

Most of you know I majored in Psychology in college.
Crazy.
And that I got a Master's degree in Counseling.
Crazier.
Well, now it's official:

I'm proud to announce that, starting in October, I am going to be a very part-time therapist.

Yeah, that's right. One of those people that needs more help than they can actually give. Go ahead, say it. I've heard it before.

I found a great job that will let me do what I love: counseling very part-time and Mom full-time.

And the best part is, I get to work with teenagers in the State system--that's right, juvenile delinquents, sex offenders, drug and alcohol abusers, the works.

I AM SO EXCITED!

Are you more worried about them or me? :)

Feeling Nosy?

I could sense that everyone was dying to know these things about me, so I compiled a list and made it your lucky day. Or....maybe Shannon sent me this in email form and I chose to answer in Blog form. :)

What time did you wake up this morning? Which time? I wake up multiple times during the early morning hours! Up for good 7:00 a.m.

Diamonds or pearls? Hmmm...I like chunky and funky jewelry, so I would say neither of these fancy-schmancy things

What was the last movie you saw? Night at the Museum at our Movie on the Lawn

What is your favorite TV show? Anything on HGTV, The Office

What do you usually have for breakfast? A bagel or English muffin with peanut butter, a banana and cranberry juice--I'm very predictable

What is your middle name? Elizabeth--think Clifford the Big Red Dog book series...Emily Elizabeth

What is your favorite CD at the moment? It's been so long since I've actually put a CD in--I rely on my iPod for Alicia Keys, Kool and the Gang, The Rolling Stones, Madonna, Steve Miller Band

What kind of car do you drive? A wonderful, gas-conserving silver 2007 Toyota Camry

What is your favorite sandwich? A nice Leftover-from-Thanksgiving turkey sandwich with Miracle Whip and a juicy tomato slice on soft, soft wheat bread.

What characteristic sdo you despise? Self-absorption, arrogance, whining

Favorite item of clothing? wide-leg pants...and my slingbacks....and my retro winter jackets

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? England (June 2009)

Favorite brand of clothing? Brand schmand--anything that is reasonably priced, but more importantly a little funky

Where would you retire to? A cozy little bungalow nestled in the thickest, greenest trees, but close enough to a city that I could go to all the plays and restaurants I wanted

What was your most recent memorable birthday?A couple of years ago, Christopher surprised me with a trip to Denver...we didn't take the trip until later, but he gave it to me on my birthday

Are you a morning person or a night person? I love to stay up late and I function great in the morning--what is that considered?

What is your shoe size? 10

Pets? 2 cats, Charlotte and Willoughby and someday a dog, but not until we have a fence

What did you want to be when you were little? Oh boy...here goes...a marine biologiest, meteorologist/tornado chaser, author, architect, editor, interior designer

What is your favorite candy? Anything red and chewy(Swedish Fish, licorice, cinnamon bears), Reese's Pieces

What is your favorite flower? English Daisies (especially the red ones), Poppies

What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? July 22nd--going to Florida. Also, my induction date the end of August--ciao, Big Belly

What are you listening to right now? my Blog playlist that includes just about every genre of music

What was the last thing you ate? A nectarine (man, am I glad it wasn't that big bag of candy I polished off right BEFORE the nectarine.... ;)

Do you wish on stars? Not usually, but I seem to always see falling stars, which I think are incredible

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Orange, perfectly sharpened in the box

Last person you spoke to on the phone? Nicole

Favorite restaurant? La Posta (only in New Mexico), Lucille's Smokehouse (Vegas)

Real hair color? Are you saying my hair color is fake? What do YOU think my real hair color is? Hard to tell? Well, you may never know...

What was your favorite toy as a child? Legos and Matchbox cars, used in conjunction with each other

Summer or winter? They both have their pros--summer for the long nights filled with the sound of crickets and a nice breeze; winter for the coziness factor and I like winter fashions better

Hugs or kisses? I'm not a very touchy-feely person

Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla--I don't care for chocolate of anything

What is under your bed? A box of stored clothes...and my cat.

What did you do last night? Pruned my shrubs, watered my flowers, sat on the porch with Christopher, read before bed like I do every night (Wait a minute...this sounds like an elderly woman's typical evening...)

What are you most afraid of? House fires, losing Chrisotpher or Bennett, the ocean (You never know what's in that water--and just about everything that IS int he water is bigger than me and has dangerous tendencies.)

Salt or sweet? Sweet, but thanks to the inventors of Kettle Corn for their genius combination

How many keys on your key ring? 5--one for each of my vacation homes--Ha!

How many years at your current job? Mom: 2 years, writer: 1 year

Do you make friends easily? Shyness is not something I posess, so yes, I think making friends is easy

Americanistic

Winners of the True Red, White and Blue American Family Contest

There is currently a recountingg of the votes. Many contestants and judges alike feel that, after looking at these faces, they'd rather be European...or Spanish...or Antarctican.

But really, how can you argue with the outcome of the contest? Americans are excited (as shown in Photo 1). Americans are tough, resilient, unshakeable (as shown in Photo 2). Americans watch fireworks (Photo 3) and nurture ENTHUSIASM in their children (demonstrated in Photo4).

Americans have neighborhood 4th of July barbecues (no photo available) and play Rock Band in LARGER THAN LIFE format on their garage door (also no photo available). True Red, White and Blue Americans drive Black Beauty (the family pickup truck) up into the mountains behind their house and watch ALL the valley fireworks at once. Now THAT, my friends, is Americanism.

Scale Strike

(Those are water drops on our clothes, in case anyone is wondering. We like to take family pictures with sprinklers in the background...and looking our most fit.)

One Fish, Two Fish REDFISH, Blue Fish: A Vacation Chronicled in Rhyme

For the past seven years, my grandparents have arranged for the family to go to Redfish Lake in Idaho.

And for the past seven years, we have LOVED it! We got back last week and it is high time I update my blog.

(Camping? I think not. Radiant heating in the floors, stone showers...no stinky tent in sight.)

Aaron, Spencer and Alli were unable to come this year for reasons of:

A) Organic Chemistry final and B) 38th week of pregnancy

(I trust you can match the appropriate reason to the appropriate person...)

Their absence was felt, but never fear...we included them photographically.

(Please note asterisks and read fine print following entry, so as to curb any possible confusion.)

I now attempt to chronicle our most recent trip in Dr. Seussian rhyme.

***

One Fish, Two Fish REDFISH, Blue Fish, Big Fish

Little Fish

Happy Fish

Ewww...Fish

That one has a very big belly...

Spencer **likes to shake his jelly.. .
(or "Here are some who like to run, .They run for fun in the hot, hot sun.

Oh me! Oh my! Oh me! Oh my! What a lot of funny things go by!"
(Thank you, Dr. Seuss. Couldn't have said it better myself.)

Alli's** sunning by the shore...Some are posing with an oar...

Two are playing on the dock...

Three are taking a little walk...

Some will come...

Some will go... Here are three that like to row,
wrong way up the creek they'll go...

Here is one that likes to paddle,

a ride he'll take in the cold, cold lake.

These two sit side by side...

One is ready for another ride...

From there to here, from here to there, funny Aaron** is everywhere .

(again, thanks Dr. Seuss).

Here are the grandparents that are simply great...

These loved their vacation, all eight.

**Many thanks to our anonymous STAND-INSand to our mad Paparazzi skills.

Also, congrats to Marmoo for conquering her fear and for that nice bruise on Dad's neck...

Big Mama

Christopher obviously found his "other fish in the sea".

Only he wasn't fishing in the sea.

And he wasn't looking for another fish...right, babe? RIGHT BABE? ;)

He certainly doesn't know how to treat a lady, that's all I can say. He dumped her right back in Flaming Gorge where he found her. Apparently, one bloated belly woman is enough for him.

Phew.

Congrats on the biggest (and only) catch of the

Annual Testosterone Extravaganza at Flaming Gorge!

(Note: This little beaut was 21 pounds, just for the record. I know you wanted me to post that, Chrisotpher...)

(Another Note: So maybe the fish wasn't exactly a girl, but I figured she LOOKED kind of girly for a fish...something about her lips....)

Loveys

Just three of my latest Loveys (meaning things I can't get enough of):

The only reality TV show in which I would ever consider participating. LOVE it...


I can do anything with spray paint--and I have.

There aren't enough watermelons in the world to keep my family's appetite satisfied.

Sugarloafers a'Loafin'

Welcome to your first glimpse into the most dominant, elite group found in human kind.

You've probably heard of them.

Sugarloafers ring a bell?

Yeah, I thought so. You'll find them at the top rung of the Human Race ladder, followed not-so-closely by the Bayhillers.

(I'd like to take a moment to dedicate this post to all my Bayhiller friends a couple rungs down who may not be my friends after this...)

The following photo documentation captures the most recent gathering of this exclusive group.Our rising generation of Sugarloafers.

A physical manifestation of the fun that is Sugarloaf.

Our attempts to reach out to other superior races.
Attentive Sugarloafer Youth showing great interest in his Elders' endeavors.
A demonstration of the sharing attitude among Sugarloafers.


A Bayhiller and her young auditioning for the part of Sugarloafer.

A Sugarloafer mother enjoying the ambiance naturally created by fellow Sugarloafers.

An on-so- happy Sugarloafer couple.

Typical Sugarloafer delicacies which include an abundance of watermelon, various barbecued meats and, of course, shaved ice provided by Box and Cox Snow Shox (thanks, Nicole and Jake. I think it's official).