You Are Peppermint Flavored Gum

You have a sharp mind that is always churning. You are mentally hyper. You're always thinking of something. And while your mind is always on, you're not the most physically active person around. Some people make mistake you for being lazy, but the truth is: you never relax. You tend to get so deeply into your projects that you ignore everything around you. You are creative and cutting edge. You love telling people about your newest ideas and discoveries.

What Flavor Gum Are You?

Roly-Poly Love

Attention all Roly-Polies!

**The Roly-Poly Associatino of America is issuing a warning to its members regarding a certain 2-year-old's newly found fascination.

No roly-poly is safe!

Please keep off all sidewalks and areas visible to toddlers. There are no casulaties to date, but victims are exhibiting symptoms of PTSD from being forced to repeatedly roll into balls in fear for their lives.**

On a recent walk up the street, it was apparent that Bennett and I had interfered with some kind of Roly-Poly Convention. They were everywhere, scrambling to do whatever Roly-Polies do at a gathering. And we greeted each one in turn, adding a solid 15 minutes to a 5 minute walk. Bennett was very kind...just intrigued. I have a feeling this adoration is not--and will not--be reciprocated.

In addition to a recently discovered love of small, helpless critters, Bennett has become a

Renegade Sprinkler Runner.

Sounds serious....AND highly-skilled.

Surprisingly, one's resume does not have to be lengthy. In fact, Bennett got into the business without so much as a single credential. He just followed all the right steps.

For interested parties, follow these steps to break into the profession:

Step 1: Get dressed in church clothes. When you arrive at your grandparents' house in Price on Mother's Day, seek out the closest running sprinkler.

Step 2: Run through that sprinkler as many times as you can. Get thoroughly soaked. Invite your cousins to join in, especially if one is wearing a nice dress and the other has on his church shoes.

Step 3: Laugh loudly and add an occasional squeal so your mom knows she'll totally ruin your fun if she dares make you come in and dry off.

Step 4: Surrender to the mother figure when she makes you come in and dry off. It's just easier this way. And it's all part of your plan, anyway...

Step 5: When Mom goes out to the car for a change of dry clothes, bust out the back door and run through the sprinkler in your diaper.

And that's it!! You're now an official Renegade Sprinkler Runner! Congratulations!

Estrogen's Secret Gathering Place

Many are unaware that Estrogen recently had a secret weekend getaway.

And when Estrogen gets away, she GETS AWAY.

In style.

In luxury.

And even better, on the cheap. (Thanks, Calli's dad!)

Four grown women and eleven almost-grown young women from our ward headed to the gorgeous Zermatt Resort in Midway, Utah, last Friday for an overnighter. As leaders, we had promised the girls a nice, fat reward for a challenge issued at the beginning of the year.

We payed up--without actually having to pay...(Again, thank you, Calli's dad...)

HONORABLE MENTIONS OF THE OVERNIGHTER:

No tents involved.

No outhouses.

No flashlights.

No campfires.

(These all magically appear to torment me in June when Girls' Camp rolls around. Oh man. I'm already invoking self-talk methods to prepare for my once-a-year-only-and-forced-upon-me-by-my-calling Tent Experience. Gulp. Hurry...change the subject. I can feel myself getting woozy...)

Sleeping bags DID accompany the group, but they were used int he following fashion:

Pizza boxes were piled upon the table, chip and candy bags littered the ground. Swimsuits hung dripping in the showers from 3 1/2 hours of swimming. Embarrassing questions were asked and answered in a high-stakes game of "Have You Ever?" Pillows and blankets (and even a homeless pair of underwear) were strewn about the room...

And it was only 2 a.m. There were hours to go yet.

3:00 brought Ghost Hour...

4:00 brought Ghost Hour to a creeped-out halt...

and somewhere around this time,

the lamps were turned off...just in time to get up at

and head home.

Additional Notes:

If you think bodily functions will not be discussed because you are surrounded by seemingly refined girls, you're thinking is amiss and must be adjusted accordingly.

Three women between the ages of 25-30 saying, "No running in the hallways" apparently translates, "Go ahead and run in the hallways. In fact, the later, the better."

Jasmine has secret diva hair, Julianna needs to wear a mouthguard, Rachael and Calli ALMOST divulged secrets in their sleep had their words been in English, and Talyn is a good bodyguard in the dark of night. Isabel hates ALL people (not discriminatory) and Tyrnee actually DOES love her sister, although they do not kiss on the lips (necessarily noted). Jane is scared of bubble sheets. Stacey likes to get the dirty juice on everyone and Abby is related to Gumby. President Carla gets bed privileges, 1st Counselor Emily gets couch privileges and because 2nd Counselor Nicole thinks alien romance is more exciting than 4 a.m. conversations, she gets the floor.

Shea and Christopher have figured out how to be bodyguards from 2 bulidings away.

Estrogen needs a nap after a good Getaway.

Tasty

A new Delicious Word:

CONCUSSED

(as in, the state of having a concussion)

Emotional State of Foliage

"NO, NO, PLEASE!" the eight tomato plants shouted to the Tomato Gods. "Anyone but HER! We want to LIVE, do you hear? LIVE, not SHRIVEL and DIE!"

This is what I imagine the eight tomato plants I recently acquired were shouting at the top of their tomato lungs when they noticed just WHO had plucked them from their promising growing career.

I have not been, shall we say, the most SUCCESSFUL tomato raisin' woman in the past. And word has gotten around the Foliage Community.

I'm sure my tomato plants screamed out a warning to the Marigold family moving into my front flower bed. The Marigold family probably alerted the English Daisies (my favorite flower) moving into Pot #5 and the English Daisies most likely passed the warning along to their neighbors down the row. (I'd tell you their names, but I have forgotten--the Purple Flowers is the best I can do.)

HOWEVER....

their botanical little selves may be in for a pleasant surprise and a long, productive life.

You see, my soul --in conjunction with my stomach--cries out for SALSA, SALSA, SALSA and I must cultivate only the juiciest salsa material.

My tomato plants have received unmatched nurturing and an outpouring of parental concern.

My front yard yearns for color and beauty and this non-green thumb is determined to at least become green-ish.

Monotony:The True Story of One Tastebud's Negligent Owner

When we lived in Vegas, we tried out new, don't-find-it-in-every-city restaurants as often as possible. (And there were plenty to choose from...) Now that we no longer live there, our tastebuds have been feeling, quite simply, starved for something FRESH and EXCITING. We're always on the lookout for something new on their behalf.

In the meantime, I thought I'd share some of our favorite places.

(Keep in mind, I am not into gourment/fancy-schmancy or seafood...)

The best dern bar-b-que joint West of the Mississippi...

Inside the Venetian in Vegas, this restaurant's menu could quite possibly pass as reading material--it's lengthy and all-encompassing.

If you want REAL New Mexican food (SO much different than regular Mexican food), you need only travel to Mesilla, New Mexico, to find it. Don't worry...you won't get lost. Unroll your window and follow the mouth-watering smell of sopapillas and chimichangas that floats in the air.
After you've made a little trip to New Mexico, it's not much farther to Hawaii. :) If you're ever on Oahu and the opu is a-grumbling, treat it to the Grass Skirt Grill. If you don't feel like doing the Hula on the beach in your skivvies after you've tried this place, you never will. (Please allow yourself at least 45 minutes for digestion to avoid cramping during dancing. Thank you.)

Feeling at all jungley or safari-ish? Try it.


While in Denver, we walked into BDs and LOVED it. It's a cool new concept with countless flavors. Mmmmm...

Sorry to tease, little tastebuds....

The Encouraging of Indecent Exposure

Things we now know about "The Kid"...

There's only one in there. (All of you that added to my "Twins Angst", TAKE THAT!)

It is a human baby--not an elephant or cow, as Bennett has repeatedly requested.

All limbs are present and accounted for....good start, good start. Also, babies develop great calf muscles by simply kicking your bladder (as seen in Photo #1). "The Kid's" face is smashed against my belly. Quite uncomfortable, I'm sure, but it makes for great profile shots...

And...HE is proud of his manhood! :)

Ahhhh...indecent exposure at its finest.

Other things we know:

1. He's huge--I will find out tomorrow if that is becuase I'm 2 weeks ahead of my September 13th due date or if he's just a monstrous kid. I think I'm actually hoping for the second reason. Call me crazy, but I want to go to Florida at the end of July. :) I like 'em bigger, anyway.

2. He's excessively wiggly, yet pleasantly cooperative. May he stay that way after the Great Emergence.

3. I'm ecstatic about another boy! (I could never picture myself with a girl, even though, in the earliest days, I thought this was of the female variety.)

4. We're naming him Miles Rigby Cox.

Apology: Sorry for the crooked nature of the pictures. They weren't cooperating on the scanner screen and I was in a hurry!

"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

--Rita Rudner

"This guy" I know once said the first year of marriage went very slowly...I wonder what he'd say now that he's been married SEVEN years? :)

"This girl" I know said not only do I have impeccable taste in men but I'm lucky to claim one of the few truly great guys on Earth as my own. I think "that girl" is very wise, indeed--Christopher is the only guy for whom I would ever have surrendered my detailed, independent woman plans. He's the most perfect Wrench-in-the Plans a girl could ever have!

He's enhanced my life, much like a good spice or a makeover. :) He's encouraged me in everything I've chosen to do and allowed my independent spirit to thrive! We've been able to do so much together and have countless memories to enjoy. And I admit, his smile still makes me a little melty-melty. :)

HAPPY LUCKY #7, BABE!

Simple Lil' Bundles of Goodness, Or Things I Could Hoard in Great, Greedy Quantities: Part 1 of Many

These are my Simple Lil' Bundles of Goodness,

or,

(take a deep breath....this is a long sentence)

The Simple Things That Exist In My World For The Sole Purpose Of Bringing About Jolly Grins And Oftentimes Big, Big Smiles,

or,

for simplicity's sake, LBGs.

Puns

Snails

The smell of a new book

Getting my favorite magazines in the mail

The sound of car tires on gravel

Warm night breezes

Nostalgic music

Dog noses

The way Bennett says blanket (wunket) and "Hey, how ya doin'?"

Nicknames

Rain clouds

Red brick

Stained glass

The smell of my Grandma's house

Clean, shiny floors

City skylines

Lists

Funky Southwesterly Beacon

Behold the plethora of paint cans, the contents of which have jumped forth and rolled themselves onto my basement walls and ceiling. A beacon of color has been created that is, no doubt, visible in three counties. And I have entitled the beacon.....Funky Southwestern.

Examine closely the painstakingly chosen colors of Black Bean Soup, Earthly Russet and Camel. Along with an accent color of white, these are the colors that compose the ambience of our lower living quarters. We have one more room to touch up and then--it's a wrap.

At least in the paint department...

We have this fetching terra cotta tile to place in the bathroom...

and these dazzling hickory floors to lay down...

and our neutral, but oh-so-soft carpet to have installed.

THEN...THEN the truly fun part comes skipping gleefully in. The curtains, the pillows, the furniture and lighting, the artwork and accessories, the....

I must take a moment to compose myself before I go insane with excitement and creative compulsion!

(And maybe I should go finish the 152 other house-wide project I have waiting for me...)

Whatsa Matta, Boy? Ya Gotta Hole in Ya Head?

I have tried unsuccessfully for the past 7 years to get Christopher to break free from his hardened, gangsta ways.

It was only a matter of time until this happened...

You guessed it...that's an entry wound from the latest drive-by in our hood.

The rival gang obviously hasn't heard of the Lgendary Cox Head. It can take any form of abuse--and only gets stronger...

Wait a minute...I'm sensing skepticism out there in the Blogosphere regarding the ghastly entry wound. Or is it Chrisotpher's alter ego you question?

Okay, okay....this is actually a picture of a frontal labotomy gone very, very wrong. He's not really a thug, he's just clinically insane and they were only trying to help. They said sorry. And that his hair would grow back. And that he could learn to live with his maniacal tendencies, given the right circumstances.

Hmmm..sensing more skepticism....but not so much as with the entry wound. (That's rude. You think he makes a better crazy person than a criminal, don't you?)

Go ahead, skeptical and curious alike, give it your best guess...

I Am But a Wee Comma

You Are a Comma

You are open minded and extremely optimistic. You enjoy almost all facets of life. You can find the good in almost anything. You keep yourself busy with tons of friends, activities, and interests. You find it hard to turn down an opportunity, even if you are pressed for time. Your friends find you fascinating, charming, and easy to talk to. (But with so many competing interests, you friends do feel like you hardly have time for them.) You excel in: Inspiring people You get along best with: The Question Mark

What Punctuation Mark are You?

Total Babe-o-Rama--For Chrisotpher

I figured since I just did an entire post on my boyfriend, Joey, I should reveal Christopher's 80s girlfriend.

Well, hello Alyssa Milano......

( of Who's the Boss fame)

Rekindled 80s Hysteria

I don't usually like to brag about my former 80s life, but it was totally rad.

At the age of 9, I had a superstar boyfriend. (This is legit--Too Legit to Quit, in fact.)

Yeah, he was a little older, but it WAS hard to resist my crimped, side ponytail, stonewashed, pegged jeans and matching denim jacket with its 283 plastic buttons showcasing his bodacious face.

Like I said, I was a total babe-o-rama. So it was totally, like, no duh, when I started going out with Joey McIntyre from NKOTB. My BFF went out with Joey's homeboy,Jordan, so we got to rock out to their def jams together. Of course, we had all their albums and, like any good girlfriend, had all the words memorized. There were tears and hysteria every time we played their music on our boom boxes or watched their concerts. And something about Hangin' Tough just begged us to do the Running Man.

Those were bogus days, dude.

But don't be so bummed out. NKOTB is totally back in action!

(Isn't Joey a total BABE?)

Time to rev up the tapes and unroll the posters under your beds, ladies. Those of us who were in the NKOTB VIP club will be wearing our t-shirts with Joey's face screen-printed on them. (And, DUH, of course we won't forget the big glitter belts.)

Don't be a dweeb. You can't sike me out. I know you've still got 'em....

As Eye See It

Let's start with a little joke.

A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog. Suddenly, he starts swinging the dog around and around his head. The pharmacist says "Excuse me, sir. Can I help you?" The blind man replies "No thank you, I'm just looking around."

Lest you think I am making a mockery of those with visual disabilities, let me first explain that,

1: I am one of those with a "visual disability" and therefore have been granted license to laugh at jokes about blind people, and,

2: I got great news last week at my annual optometrist appointment, which I thought I'd share.

The Good News is: My eyesight has not worsened in the past year. Many may find this a trivial thing, but for me, trivial it most certainly is not!

Ponder these numbers....

With contacts, my eyesight is: 20/150 in both eyes

Without contacts, my eysight is: 20/400 in both eyes

Legal Blindness: 20/200

As you can see, I'm mighty close to legal blindness. I figure, the longer I can avoid that inevitable number, the better! Thus, the good news!

I have had multiple comments, questions and humorous observations about my visual abilities (and the lack thereof) lately, and there's no time like the present to do a little explaining...

Time to slay the myths! Dispel the rumors! Rid confusion FOREVER!

THE FACTS ABOUT EMILY'S EYESIGHT

THE SITUATION: Stargardt's Disease--a retinal disease and form of Macular Degeneration that affects my central vision. In order to get this lifelong friend, one has to have 2 parents who carry the gene.

Thanks, Mom and Dad! :)

It usually starts becoming a pain in the ol' rear during late teendom, early adulthood. My body can't metabolize Vitamin K, so instead it makes fat deposits on my macula, which is responsible for central vision.

Yes, you too have a macula! May it stay lipid free!

( But I bet you can't say you have fat in your eye. Maybe I can blame this for any unwanted, hitchiking pounds? If only.)

There are only about 25,000 peple with Stargardt's worldwide.

(Hey, when you're lucky, you're lucky.)

DIAGNOSED: April 2001, 2 weeks before I got married (Christopher felt sorry for me and still married me ;)

WHAT MY FRIEND STARGARDT'S DOES TO MY EYESIGHT:
1. It is currently providing my car with nice, leisurely driving--nothing over 40 mph, no freeway or nighttime driving

2. It is currently asking that I read large print books, as normal 12 point font is much too small. I receive many comments about the close proximity of reading material to my face. :)

3. It is currently making you all a little fuzzy if you are farther than 5 feet away from me. I bet you wonder what you would look like fuzzy. Only the chosen few get the privilege of knwoing... :) (Don't worry, I won't make fun of you. Ha!)

So, if I happen to not recognize you right away, you can laugh and tell a good blind joke. I'm always looking for new material.

4. It makes my eyes ultra-sensitive to the sun. I don't wear sunglasses all the time because I think I'm a superstar.... ;)

5. In summary, my good friend, Stargardt's, has decded I don't need to read words on the largest of movie screens, clearly see menus at restaurants, notice details of anything or anyone from a far distance (far being defined as approx. 5 feet!), and read aanything but the first 2 lines of the eye chart.

For added visual interest (note: attempting a pun), the world as I see it will look something like this:

How likely is it that I'll lose my eyesight completely? Hmmm...hard to say. Like anything else, only time will tell. As it stands right now, I am "scheduled" to hit 20/200 in both eyes and stabilize. There's a possibility of color loss, since Stargardt's can affect the cones of the eye.

(See future post on painting of the basement. You can decide for yourself if I've completely lost it.)

Most popular question: Is it treatable/is there a cure. Answer to both: a simple, yet resounding, no. :)

And there you have it.

The story behind my squinting, books practically perching on my face and my inability to travel about as I please!

Phew. Now it's all out in the open. Well, most of it, anyway. There is ONE little thing....

I have supersonic hearing.

No, really.

You know what they say....one of the body's senses drops the ball and the others pick up the slack. My hearing has stepped up to the task, jumped into overdrive and overcompensated. I am like a bat or an owl...or some other kind of creature with superb auditory skills.

If you need any eavesdropping done, call me. :)

Spaghetti Noodles in Ice Water

WANTED:

TODDLER RESPONSIBLE FOR

SPAGHETTI NOODLES IN HIS ICE WATER

If you have any information regarding this self-proclaimed Culinary Genius or catch him in the act of creating any of his Dietary Delights, please contact the authorities immediately.

A Delicious Word

Fetching (meaning very attractive)

"Everyone back! Give him some air."

Whoa, Nelly! Look at That Jelly!

The 80s had a lot to offer. There were good things and, umm, not so good things (peg pants, claw bangs, Cyndi Lauper boots, Boy George, etc. etc.). There were the ugly and the even uglier (another post for another time), the big and the even bigger (and I refer to hair).

But one day, a little spark of genius came floating into the hairspray-asphyxiated world and the motherlode of all 80s goodness was born.

And that motherlode, my friends, was

The Jelly Shoe.

I have, at this moment, a very real, very wearable version of these delightful red jelly shoes in my closet. Purchased in joy and jubilation, they have inspired me to begin a collection.

It is my sincere desire to, one day, introduce each of these members of the Jelly Family (and any others that may "stumble upon me") to my waiting and welcoming closet.

A Cautionary Note: Take care not to let your feet see these pictures unless you plan on purchasing Jelly Shoes immediately. It's mean to tease and it will drive your feet to the very brink of madness.